This last week I have experienced a feeling that I have not had since the Marine Corps. Because of my insane workload (5 papers written, all in the last two weeks)... I am bordering on the brink of exhaustion, physically and mentally.
The due dates of the papers pay little regard to my tired state and continue to creep up on me. This week was no different, but the assignment was. I had my final and most important history paper due on Thursday. I had other assignments due earlier in the week and so I only began researching the history paper on Wednesday morning. I finished my research on Thursday morning at 3 am, slept for 4 hours, and began writing at 7. As I sat in the security officers' office 15 mins after waking up, I realized that I had absolutely no desire, nor strength to analyze or write the paper. I had no more of my own strength to run on.
I stopped trying to write, stopped trying to think, stopped trying to analyze the copious pages of notes I had taken. I recognized that I was in my most pathetic condition. I was about to become very frustrated, and I was about to quit.
Just then my mom popped up on skype, and I explained to her in typical guy fashion (short thought blurbs) the dire straits I was in. She wasted no time; the response was immediate. It was also straight out of Scripture. "Even youths shall faint and be weary,and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40: 30-31
Though I was "weary" and "exhausted," my heart was suddenly filled with gladness at the promise of faithfulness given by our Lord. My frustration turned to joy at the opportunity that God had brought about to prove His faithfulness towards me.
Before I finish the story, I must add a disclaimer. Isaiah does say that "they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." But the Lord, through Isaiah, is not making a promise that the situation will get better. He is only making a promise that He will give "those who wait upon the Lord" the strength to get through the situation.
The Lord did give me strength, and by His hand alone I was able to finished my paper. Not only did I finish it, but by my estimation, I composed my best history paper yet. My arguments went deeper than I had ever been able to before, and were better supported than previous ones made. To put the cherry on top, I finished with 3 minutes left before another class that I had to get to. :)
As I was walking away from the aforementioned class, I was well aware of my exhaustion. My body ached and my joints creaked, but my heart was filled with wonder. I raised my hands to the heavens and poured out the gratitude of my heart to the Lord. As I choked back actual tears of joy I thanked the God that brought Israel out of Egypt, the God who helped David slay Goliath, the God who sent His only Son to die for sinners.... the very same God that loved me enough to get me through a history paper.
The tales of Martyn at Patrick Henry College might not contain the euphoric high of parasailing; it might not contain the emotion of Hollywood's latest tear jerker; it probably doesn't have the adventure to it that some of my stories from Africa does. But it is my hope that they the contain one simple truth about the Christian life. Namely that life and our experiences are not about us, they are about Christ. They are about Him, to whom all glory and honor is due.
In our Savior,
Martyn
What a wonderful Savior we serve! He is the only God that wants our weakness and not our strength! Thanks for sharing that, Martyn. That encouraged me so much, son.
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